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What Makes You Smile Before Going To Bed? Part 2

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 5, 2012

It saddens me, to see people over-complicate their lives and entrap themselves in a self woven web of sorrow and distress. Keywords here: “over-complicate” and “self woven“.

I sympathize with fellow human beings whose sufferings are beyond their control and a consequence of external circumstances that are not of their doing. But there are others, and many, who complicate normal circumstances to create an illusory state of hardships. They then drown themselves in their self imagined sorrows and soon enough start blaming others around them.

While at times I have the liberty to ignore such behavior, it becomes extremely hard to deal with when people displaying it are closely related to you or are ones you care for. More often than not, at the end of such melodramatic acts, it is I who ends up being labeled a villain. And that hurts.

So in order to avoid being hurt myself, I have decided to “Mind my own business“. Even when the person who is going through one of the above attacks is closely related to me, I will just let them be. I will not try to speak sense into anyone’s head. I will not try to awaken anyone’s mind. I am not going to try to be a savior. To be one, requires a level of spiritual accomplishment that I have not attained. And until I attain that, I shall “Mind my own business”.

I don’t think I’m the only one who experiences such tough situations. Any similar stories out there?

I just wish more people would just Simplify their lives and be Thankful to the Divine for all the things we have. For those of us lucky enough to be awakened to the possibilities of our lives, here’s an extract from one of my early posts.

Was pondering upon parameters of happiness when I thought of this: When you hit the sack at night do you smile and feel happy about seeing the next day in the blink of an eye? What is it about the next morning that makes you wanna sleep and travel through night at the speed of light?

Here are a few things that put a smile on my face when I think of waking up the next day:

  • the morning newspaper crossword πŸ™‚
  • the morning cup of tea πŸ™‚
  • the period of solitude and self reflection that I spend in the toilet πŸ™‚
  • the good morning greeting to my folks and hearing their response πŸ™‚
  • the comic strip in the newspaper πŸ™‚

With a little more effort, this could translate into an effective scale for measuring happiness and work/life balance. So what puts a smile on your face?





28 Responses to “What Makes You Smile Before Going To Bed? Part 2”

  1. depends on the level of misery. if it’s the friend who is constantly in a bad relationship (knowing he/she is in a bad relationship) and they just like drama, then there is only so much you can do. if it’s helping an elderly grandmother with some mundane chore…why not help out :o)

    btw: love newspaper comic strips!

    • Raunak said

      for sure…any chore and I’m up for it. Just that nothing to do with opinions or thoughts.
      Beetle Bailey’s my favorite πŸ™‚
      Thanks for reading and sharing those wonderful thoughts!good to see you here.

  2. love.antoinette said

    What a wonderfully-written blog to wake up and read first thing this morning for me! I highly stress the fact to friends and family that Life IS Simple. For the most part, people like to complicate their lives because you’re right, there are those so used to “a melodramatic” life. Some outgrow it, others never. Of course there are those complications that can’t be avoided, such as natural disasters, death, severe illness. However it’s HOW we deal with them that truly matters.

    Many times before I go to bed, I always write down atleast 5-10 things I’m grateful for. I’ve been doing this habit for more than 4 years now and i always feel really good about it.

    • Raunak said

      am glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚
      HOW is so important…you’re spot on there!
      And that’s a wonderful habit. Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚ hope more of us can adopt an approach like that.

    • I especially like the phrase “over complicate” that was used. Because, as you said, it points out how simple life is… and that’s a good thing! I studied literature as my major in college, and I was basically taught to over-complicate things. You read a book, and then you discuss it and turn it on its head over and over for hours upon hours. That certainly has its place (it can sure be fun), but we need to remember that no matter how hard we are encouraged to think in school and/or work, when it comes to happiness in life, it is great to think of the simple underlying truths of the situation. As a literature major, I learned a great adage in a class once: “Pain expands to fill the void.” It is sad, but often true, that we often find pain where it does not need to be, to feel “equal” to the pain of others. I have certainly caught myself doing it! Being happy is a deliberate act.

      • Raunak said

        Do you think that is a key difference between the sciences and the arts? While science aims at simplifying, the latter keeps complicating impressions further. Hence I feel that an artist should try to gain an appreciation of the sciences and vice versa.

        “Pain expands to fill the void” that’s such a beautiful adage. The more I think about it the more I see it everywhere around me.

        I’m so glad that our blogging paths crossed. Thank you for sharing those enriching thoughts. πŸ™‚

      • I think there is a tendency toward simplification as an end goal in science, and exploration in the arts (leading to complication). I think it is mostly the analysis aspect of a discipline, however, that leads toward over-complication. Analysis is very important, in science and art, but it’s important to take a step back and go “OK, now that we’ve broken this concept into its constituent parts… What does it mean, in human terms?”

        And even if your job is to analyze things – subatomic particles or Renaissance paintings – it’s important to remember that you’re allowed to simply “be,” when you get home from work. You’re not defined by your profession; I bet some of the most brilliant minds have the simplest pleasures in their hobbies. That doesn’t make them any less brilliant – possibly more so!

      • Raunak said

        Michelle, thanks again for sharing your wonderful thoughts.

        Taking a step back and looking at things in human terms is a brilliant thought indeed. The question I always try to avoid when visiting an art show is “How did you find the painting? What do you think about it?” My answer to such questions is very simple and borders on naivety, “I love this one because it makes me happy”.

        It is so important to have a hobby. It is one thing that creates a balance in our lives. For a long time I had forgotten the importance of a hobby and hence had none. Now, am finally getting my balancing act together and making sure that a hobby is an integral part of it.

  3. Good Deed said

    Yes, over complicating people πŸ™‚ They go deep into everything and when they reach bottom then they are making problems. It is bad habit. When people understand that it is only a HABIT, it would be much easier to change it… Now they take some pills or medications and say that it’s the way they are born, and they have to struggle to survive. Make peace without fighting… Pitty

  4. You’re a very positive person, and it’s great.

    What makes me smile before going to bed is the possibility of dying peacefully in my sleep. πŸ˜€ Even my dad calls me a fatalist.

  5. katlaire said

    One of mine is that nice, long shower after a long day at work. πŸ™‚

  6. soumyav said

    1.My little one smiling …
    2.The time when I log in to Wp to post something which hasn’t been written or thought of…
    3.When I feel people loved my poems..
    4.Walk by the waterfront…
    These always bring a smile on my face… besides lots more.. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  7. I agree, you can’t change people that don’t want to change. I have learned to distance myself from those who are toxic to me but I wish them the very best! There are all sort of addictions… It also makes me look at how I might effect others…have I been to complicated or living through my afflictions? Great post and thanks for the sharing your thoughts on morning gratitude.

    • Raunak said

      Thanks Kara! Your comments and thoughts lighten up my posts.

      I love the point you have raised about being able to “look at how I might effect others”. It is a wonderful exercise that I wish more people undertook.

  8. Gigi wanders said

    Gosh, we are of like mind.

    I’ve been writing a piece on human being/doing, soon to be posted, and tussling with a piece that has the same subject matter as this one. I TOTALLY identify with your experience!

    Here is what I have learnt:
    1st, the desire and action to help stems from kindness; because you love this person (for me, my mother) you want to help them be free of her self-inflicted suffering. It’s frustrating, however, when you see her continue to choose behavior that continues their suffering (and drags you down with it; very energy-sapping).

    2nd: I can ‘check out’ as I understand you have decided, or:

    3rd: I can still put out my ‘smorgasbord’ of helpful aids to awareness for mom, and leave it up to her to ignore completely or pick-and-choose what suits her.

    The challenge for me is to be detached from the outcome. To accept her choosing or not choosing, otherwise my attitude is one of control, regardless of the (kind) intention behind it.
    It is enormously difficult!

    I will be heading to Australia soon to spend a few months with mom, so no doubt you will be privy to my many defeats, big and small ;,)

    I am committed to ‘helping myself’ more this time. Keeping my center, keeping my peace and joy, maintaining my balance – feeling the feelings but not allowing them to stick to me and drag me down (which I have done to date); practising non-attachment.

    I have to say I’m not confident, but it will be an effort that will have great rewards (although I am not doing it for the rewards).

    Sorry for the long reply.
    It’s been great to find you.

    I couldn’t access your other blog for some reason.

    • Raunak said

      Hi Gigi! Thank you so much for stopping by and I so appreciate your well thought out and elaborate reply. By sharing your experiences, you have contributed to this post immensely.

      I can so relate with you and wish you the very best on your trip to Australia. I am sure your endeavors will have great rewards.
      I look forward to knowing how it goes.

      I am glad our blogging paths have crossed πŸ™‚

  9. Cedric said

    That is a wonderful picture Raunak. Contageous smiles.

    As for your words, forgive me but they left me a little puzzled. Have you considered that what you are seeing in others might also be “self-imagined sorrows” on your part? And aren’t you also “blaming others” for hurting you and making you mind your own business? Have you considered the possibility that someone in your life might see you as being somewhat melodramatic?

    People being over-complicated, people being sad, people being depressed, people being hurtful, people being jerks, people being reprochable, people being melodramatic, people being kind, people being loving, people being grateful, people being simple, even people being mindful of their own business; it all does sound so complicated and in some cases, so difficult to bear but read this sentence again; can you see what all people have in common? The simplicity we all seek is right there. We are… all of us… just people… being. People being. Period. Anything else that follows “people being” is just a label, a judgement, a belief, a perspective, an opinion, a point-of-view; call it what you will.

    Wishing others would change to suit our own perception of the world is like wishing a leopard would change his spots. Not likely to happen. On the other hand, wishing that we, as individuals, might change and see beyond the filters that our biases and prejudices create, well, that stands a chance of coming true. And just being in a place in our lives where we can even make such a wish, now that is something to be grateful for.

    • Raunak said

      Cedric, thank you for sharing such well thought out comments. You have really brought life to this post!

      Since “wishing others would change to suit our own perception of the world” is a fantasy, is it safe to assume that an attempt to change others is destined to fail?

      being part of the blogging world has made me appreciate the fact that it is not right for me to expect everyone to think the same way as I do. Hence, though I would want others’ opinions to conform to mine, I have learned that this is not natural. Differences in fact make the world a better place.

      So since an attempt to change others is destined to fail and since nature wants people to have different thoughts, I believe that minding my own business is the way to go.

      You concluding paragraph possesses profound wisdom. Thank you so much again for sharing it.

  10. This post exemplifies one of many reasons I like your blog; you propel us to wonder, ponder, assess, re-think…

    I think there’s a time & place to “mind our own business,” but I also believe there’s a time to offer wisdom to those who may need it; whether they accept it or not is their call, but I believe the offer allows them to feel your caring & concern. I don’t know what I’d do without the wisdom I’ve been offered by so many people I’ve met – some accepted, some not – but I always appreciate that they care enough to offer.

    • Oh! And my happy morning wake-up is my dogs licking my face in excitement & anticipation of their morning run through the woods! πŸ™‚

    • Raunak said

      Thank you so much for such encouraging words. They feel special coming from you.

      the only trouble I see with giving advice is that not everyone is ready to hear it. there are some who take it well. Unfortunately such people are few in my life.

  11. I’m grateful for the caring and concern you’ve shown me, and I believe I’m on the right path now. Without your encouragement and advice, I’d still be in a quagmire of despair. My many, MANY thanks for “not” minding your own business previously with me.

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