doakonsult

Consulting.Philosophy.Travel

  • There are three types of people in the world, those who don't know what's happening, those who wonder what's happening and those on the streets that make things happen.

Posts Tagged ‘humor’

How to write a rap song these days

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on March 5, 2013

0:00-1:00: Name all the artists collaborating with you in the song. What sets you apart from other rappers is the you pronounce these names.

Chorus: Tell a fictional girl how badly you want to “do” her and how lucky she would be to let that happen.

1:15-1:45 : Bless the listeners by sharing which neighborhood you belong to, which country you come from, which country your mother and father, brothers and sisters come from (even though in reality they all hold US Passports!)

Chorus: Tell a fictional girl how badly you want to “do” her and how lucky she would be to let that happen.

2:00-2:30 : Glorify suffering, infact glamorize it. Narrate your struggles in life, the drugs, the abuse, the thugs, the gangsta neighborhood you grew up in, the bullets you dodged, the cops you beat up, how many times you’ve been out on bail. (even though in reality you were just another kid growing up in a wonderful family in quiet Farmington!)

Chorus: Tell a fictional girl how badly you want to “do” her and how lucky she would be to let that happen.

2:45-3:15 : Disclose your assets (imaginary as of now, but ones you will actually own once you sell this song)..the blings, the rocks, the bentleys, ferraris etc. Name your enemies and how you plan to kill them, make it sound more like an execution.

Chorus: Tell a fictional girl how badly you want to “do” her and how lucky she would be to let that happen.

3:30-4:00  : End by again naming all the artists that joined you in this song (those poor souls will never be heard of again), and make the listener feel blessed that he has by now memorized every word of your BS!

That’s it. I’m done.

images

RIP Rap

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

(Political) Joke of the Day

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on January 28, 2013

Enjoy 🙂

A Sardar (A Sikh from the state of Punjab in India), a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:

“It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping..”

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back..”

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.”

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
“You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!”

“Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,” Sardar replied.

“In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”

“Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

“If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

“And what is your second wish, ?” the Sheik asked.

Sardar smiled and said, “Tie the Pakistani to my back” !!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

Divine Sunday

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on January 27, 2013

bless you

Came across an interesting piece this morning.

There are only 3 ways in which God responds to our prayers.

1) Yes.

2) Not yet.

3) Wait, there is something better in store for you.

Reminded me of my post “Its not about If…its about when”

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged: , , , | 10 Comments »

I don’t get this…..

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on November 11, 2012

This is me right now

David H Petraeus, CIA Director is forced to resign due to the uncovering of an extra marital affair.

Stop. Wait a second. The CIA Director could not cover up his own special ops??? How in the world did he qualify to become the Director of the CIA??? Are you f***ing kidding me!!! Or am I the only one who is stunned. I have no problems with the man and his misdeeds, but how could he not keep it a secret???

So how did he become the head of a Secret Service? Who in the world nominated Petraeus?

…………..

………………….

……………………………

…………………………………….

……………………………………………..

Ans.

That’s it. I’m Done!

Posted in Political Marketing | Tagged: , , , , | 10 Comments »

My Week so far…

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on November 10, 2012

Couldn’t find a better way to describe my state this week. I am sure you will now understand my irregular presence on WP this week. Its been a Tuesday all along. And while I daydream of a massage packed vacation to Thailand (an illusory motivation), hope you all had a Saturday every day 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 16 Comments »

This one takes the cake!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on November 4, 2012

One of the several features I enjoy about WP is the “Search Engine Terms” section on the Stats page. This list sometimes pops up the funniest and wierdest search terms one can imagine. And just when I thought I had seen them all, this morning I notice one that takes the cake!

“DISE RONAK PAKISTAN SEX”

How in the name of God can something like that lead someone to my blog! So I decide to search it myself; lo and behold, Google pops up one of my posts as the very first search result. Holy Macaroni! Damn those Web Crawlers!

So next I decide to Image Search and this is what it revealed:

That’s NOT me! I wonder what the person had in mind when he or she was looking for “Dise Ronak Pakistan Sex”. Any ideas? Those who know me well are aware of my deep love for Pakistan (sarcasm intended). I would rather not come up on search results which have anything to do with Pakistan. I have been the random extra check on several American Airport queues and I do not intend to be tagged for life by the TSA!

I didn’t repeat the action with “Safe Search Off”, scared of what unknown dark secret it may reveal. You guys are free to do that 🙂 Happy Sunday!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 15 Comments »

Guilty as charged!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 31, 2012

For the first time ever, women in Saudi Arabia are now allowed to drive!

In line with the cultural theme of my previous post, I had to post this image.

Talking about western intolerance towards new settlers and their ways, I was wondering whether an American woman who migrates to Saudi Arabia (I know it doesn’t happen much but let’s imagine) can walk around the streets of Riyadh in a Tee and Denims? Whether shes can enjoy a nice tan on the Saudi beach? So why does wearing a Hijab become such a big issue if the French government does not want it? Why do minorities have the right to protest and be heard more that the majority? Why is the selfishly devised scale of moralityand ethics more stringent for developed nations than it is for the rest of the world. I repeat, selfishly devised scale of morality and ethics.

I did laugh when I saw the above image. But slowly it revealed a dark side of this world’s hypocricy and evil. And we are all guilty. Just think about it.

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged: , | 19 Comments »

It takes two to Tango!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 30, 2012

While a lot of people living in western countries have been blamed for racial discrimination, xenophobia and intolerance towards immigrants, I cannot help feel that they are not the only ones to blame. Social integration is a grave concern across Europe, and is rightly so. New settlers need to recognize their responsibility in facilitating peaceful coexistence. Culture is a collection of traits and activities that have been formed over centuries of living. Several factors contribute to the nature of a society’s cultural ethos. One critical factor is geography. In what climatic, topographical and  conditions a society evolves weighs heavily upon what it eats, what it wears and what it espouses as tradition. Hence, relocation from one’s motherland does not come without sacrificing some of these native habits. Immigration in many cases brings about a change in one’s environment and this demands a change in one’s lifestyle. To expect an immigrant to make this sacrifice is not hateful. It is a practical expectation. Such changes can easily be seen realized in third and fourth generation of immigrants. However, it is the reluctance of the first generation to let go of their cultural identity that creates friction between the settlers and the natives.

The point I am trying to make is clearly highlighted in this joke. Enjoy!

A young Arab asks his father, “What is that weird hat you are wearing?”

The father said, “Why, it’s a ‘chechia’ because in the desert it protects
our heads from the sun.”

“And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?” asked the young
man.

“It’s a ‘djbellah’ because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the
body.” said the father.

The son asked, “And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, “These are ‘babouches”, which keep us from burning our
feet in the desert.”

“So tell me then,” added the boy.

“Yes, my son?”

“Why the f**k are you living in Bradford , England and still wearing all this shit?” 🙂

Disclaimer: This post does not intend to target any one particular community, nationality or religion. The joke is used only to depict a general opinion.

Comments welcomed.

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged: , , , , , | 14 Comments »

The long journey up the corporate ladder

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 29, 2012

awesome depiction of corporate rat race…it is so true! been there and got back just in time…phew!

Just Outside the Box Cartoon

corporate ladder leading all the way to heavenIt would be funnier if it were not true…..

 

View original post

Posted in Philosophy, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Learning to Cuss . . .

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 27, 2012

beautiful humor 🙂

John R Childress . . . Rethinking

After a long week of travel to the US with even longer days of meetings, I was definitely in need of a “mood lift”.  And thanks to my good friend and fishing companion, John Green from Yorkshire, my week ended on a high of continuous laughter long after I read his email.

So, here is a definite mood lifter from John Green.  Enjoy.

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are out raking the yard.

The 6 year old says, “You know what? I think it’s about time we started learning to cuss.” The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues. “When we go in for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.”  The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants…

View original post 128 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Good Day for a Laugh :D

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 26, 2012

I’m just pleased that Friday has passed the way it has. No food for thought today. Just plain good old laugh 😆

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

On the right track but on the wrong train!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 25, 2012

Every human being is on a journey. Our purpose maybe different but we never stop our pursuits. Professional, Personal, Spiritual, Religious etc. etc. Life is a journey for everybody. While certain travels are easier to undertake, spiritual and religious explorations can be quite testing. In majority of the cases, we quit and abandon our journeys before reaching our destination. I truly believe that in the spiritual and philosophical domains, journey is more important than the destination. Hence, it becomes more important to question the circumstances that force us to quit. One of the main contributors is despair at not having seen the light at the end of the tunnel. At this point, I’d like you all to ask yourselves whether you have made your journey a “Matter of Principles”. Are you ignoring other paths that could make the journey more enjoyable for you? Is it time you change your path rather than give up the endeavor? Is it time to get yourself a new map?

Ask yourself, are you on the right track but on the wrong train?

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

Will the real Indian please stand up!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 21, 2012

No! There is no one real Indian. We put the “D” in Diverse.  In fact, we put the I,V,E,R,S and E as well. But its not easy being us. Every time we travel abroad, we come across stereotypes that have absolutely nothing to do with us. The first time I did, I was left wondering how in the world did they get that impression of us. And then it hit me that there are million types of us. I am an Indian, but only one type. The general characteristics which differentiate the types are region, language, looks and food. In addition to being an Indian, I belong to a particular region, I speak a particular language, I look a particular way and my food habits too categorize me into a certain type. So far so good.

But things get very irritating when a set of Indians belonging to a particular combination of the above characteristics give rise to stereotypes that are extremely embarrassing for the rest of us. For example, I do not put coconut oil in my hair nor do I shake my head when I mean to nod. Yet, I am an Indian. I do not have a heavy accent nor do I walk holding my friend’s hand. Yet, I am in Indian. I am not an IT Programmer nor a help desk executive. Yet, I am an Indian. I can be a Punjabi and not have to wear a turban. I can be a Kashmiri and yet be a Hindu.

Every wave of immigration carried with it a different type of Indian to the world. And we still have many more headed to a neighborhood near you 🙂

 

Posted in Philosophy, Travel | Tagged: , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

Oh no…not again!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 20, 2012

17:00 The train came to a halt. I picked up my bags and rushed to my compartment. Before boarding, I read the reservation chart and breathe a sigh of relief when I see my name on that list. I knew my ticket was confirmed but my mind has been tuned into being stressed till I see the proof inked on that dreaded chart.  Next, I glance at the passenger names around my seat. I am going to be spending the next 28 hours of my life with them, and I like to be prepared for what is coming. The only column that interests me is the Age/Sex column. 82/M, 52/F, 55/M, 57/M, 46/F ; oh no…not again! None of my co-passengers belong to my age group. Why does this always happen to me! I look at my Kindle and can’t help think “Just the two of us.”

17:30: Train starts moving. I bid an emotional goodbye to my favorite city, not knowing when I will return.

18:00: I assume a quiet posture in my seat, eyes glued to my kindle, ears catching every sound wave from the surroundings. Three of my co-passengers are related. 82 year old father (I will refer to him as grandfather) of the 52 year old aunty who is married to the 55 year old uncle. In India, any lady more than 20 years your age is referred to as “aunty” and any man “uncle”.

18:15: Aunty starts slicing apples and passes them on to uncle and Grandfather. And then what I dread, she offers them to me. I courteously refuse but in India you know its not going to work. I soon had four slices of apple in my hand and one in my mouth. Honestly, these were the most delicious apples I had had in a long time. I knew what this meant, I was now obliged to spend the next 26 hours chit chatting with this family. I looked at my Kindle, “Goodbye, mon ami!”

19:00: Grandfather turns out to be the most interesting man. He was a retired Railways official and his postings across the country endowed him with great wisdom that comes with traveling and age. Fortunately, he loved talking and sharing this worldly wisdom. I was all ears.

20:00: The family unpacks its home made dinner and not surprisingly, I am offered their food. By now I am only too glad to accept the invitation. Fried potatoes in a red curry accompanied by Indian bread…heaven!

21:00: By now we have discussed the state of our nation more than the Cabinet ever has. The latest scandal involving the son-in-law of the country has been analyzed from every possible angle. Quality of railways food has been blasted in every sense possible. The danger Walmart poses to our entrepreneurs has been debated thoroughly. Best ways of investing savings have been pondered upon and almost all religious stereotypes existing in our country mentioned at least once.

22:00: We all wish each other a pleasant sleep and retire to our berths. I pick up my kindle and start reading “Business As Usual” by John Childress.

The next day is a repeat of exchange of gossips, food and jokes. In no time, I reach my destination and bid a grateful farewell to grandfather, uncle and aunty. Grateful for filling 28 hours of my life with such enriching information, wisdom and experience. Grateful for sharing their travels and teaching me a great lesson, “first impressions can be very deceiving indeed.” The next time I look at the reservation chart, I’ll look for an 82/M listing.

P.S: Highly recommend “Business As Usual” by John Childress. 5 stars!

Super  Pants lived up to their expectations yet again 🙂

Posted in Travel | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

azoic..paleozoic..mesozoic…….technozoic..zuckerzoic..stupidzoic..zombiezoic……

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 17, 2012

Azoic

Age of rocks formed before the appearance of life in the geologic sequence.

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Paleozoic

A time of dramatic geological, climatic and evolutionary changes. Fish, arthropods, amphibians and reptiles all evolved during the Paleozoic.

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Mesozoic

An interval of geological time from about 250 million years ago to about 65 million years ago. It is often referred to as the Age of Reptiles because reptiles, namely dinosaurs, were the dominant terrestrial and marine vertebrates of the time. The era began in the wake of the Permian-Triassic event, the largest mass extinction in Earth’s history, and ended with the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, another mass extinction which is known for having killed off nearly all dinosaurs, as well as other plant and animal species.

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Technozoic

A period of revolutionary technology advancements in automation and communication. This phase saw the development of incredible computing devices and a world wide network called the “Internet”. The latter would bring about a paradigm shift in way homo sapiens interacted across the globe. Simultaneously there was evolution of satellite communication and mobile phones. This period was distinctly noticeable by the increase in noisy chatter that emanated from Earth.

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Zuckerzoic

A “path breaking” innovation changed the meaning of relationships forever. “Like” became the most frequently used word of the English vocabulary. Humans began living in an illusion, confined in the spaces of their tiny rooms, yet in the company of hundreds of illusory friends. The noisy chatter spiked! Every new innovation was targeted towards making the users of this divine platform happy. Every gadget began being evaluated on the basis of its contribution to this social platform. All brilliant minds around the world were trained to focus their brilliance only towards social media. Everything else was neglected and discouraged. This also gave rise to a new breed of gadgets called the “Smartphones”.

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Stupidzoic

Right towards the end of Zuckerzoic, the world witnessed a sudden drop in intellect and logical reasoning. Thinking was no longer a given. Special efforts were required to trigger the human mind into thinking on its own. This period also saw a mammoth rise of “Ignorance”. Humans stopped noticing. “Quality Life” was replaced by a new parameter, “Speed”. Everything had to be done faster and faster. Speed outranked Logic in importance. This period is also referred to as the “Age of Smartphones and Tablets”.

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Zombiezoic

God migrated. Eden went barren. Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil wilted. Intellect extinct.

 

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged: , , , , , , | 15 Comments »

Joke of the Day: Of Nobel Peace Prize

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 14, 2012

In 2009 I thought that the Nobel Committee was on the verge of insanity when it awarded Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize. I was not a member of the blogging world then, hence I have no recorded remnants of my reasoning at that time. Now I am, and with no hesitation do I say that the Nobel Committee has completely and absolutely lost it!

Which brings me to the joke of the day.

“This year’s Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to the EU.”

Justification:

European Commission President Manuel Barroso said on Friday it is a “tremendous honour” for the European Union to be awarded with the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize. It is the “strongest possible recognition of the deep political motives behind our union: the unique effort by ever more European States to overcome war and divisions and to jointly shape a continent of peace and prosperity,” he said in a statement in Brussels.

My Response:

Are they nuts! Did they really think that nuclear powered countries like France and Germany would go to battle again! Please kill me, if they truly believe that the EU was formed only to avoid military conflicts and give peace a chance. So the selfish economic motives of Germany and France had nothing to do with forming a bloc that would allow free trade, expand the market for German and French manufactured goods, create an illusory sense of prosperity for the smaller countries, pump money into Greece, Spain, Portugal, Italy so that they could buy German and French goods and services and in turn, pile on a heavy debt!

What did the EU countries do when right in their neighborhood, the Balkans were burning? Ask the common Greeks how much love they have for their EU counterparts. Remove all the weapons from the EU and open the borders allowing a free for all, hand to hand brawl. Then lets see how much peace remains between the EU citizens.

The Euro zone too was a result of France feeling jittery over the German Mark’s rising influence. The only way to counter it was to push for a common currency. Its funny how the German constitution did not require a referendum to shun the Deutsche Mark and adopt the Euro. Soon enough, we had a zone that had a common monetary policy, but no common economic and fiscal policy. This was a disaster and yet no one did anything about it. Why? Because it was in France and Germany’s interest to keep it like this. It allowed them to exploit the smaller countries in the EU to fill their own coffers. Had they formulated a strict fiscal policy, countries like Greece, Italy and Spain would not have been able to borrow as heavily as they did. This would have reduced their ability to buy German and French products and in turn reduce the latter’s revenues. While Greece is being blamed for its fiscal indiscipline, the truth is that Germany and France wanted it to be like that.

People of Europe have always been for peace with each other. All wars and conflicts have been results of political and economic greed and opportunism. Similarly, peace too is slave to political and economic opportunism. The minute peace ceases to be politically or economically beneficial, EU leaders will show no hesitation in resorting to violence. If the Nobel Peace Prize is deserved by the citizens of the EU, then every citizen of the world has an equal claim to it.

As always, comments welcomed.

Posted in News, Political Philosophy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

My Super Pants!

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on October 8, 2012

I write this post from inside a train in India. So far, I have exchanged my berth with a co-passenger, so that a family, divided by the cruelty of the reservation system can travel together. All my internal organs have undergone three hours of motion sickness test, thanks to the old and faulty suspension system of this wagon. I have not spoken a single word for the last couple of hours; my berth lies at the very end of the compartment and is quite an isolated spot. I have another 24 hours before I reach my destination and I know they are not going to be the most comfortable.

Earlier today, I experienced a moment of delight that I’d like to share here. While I was getting dressed for the journey, I put on my cargo pants and felt a sudden transformation. The day until then had been pretty dull and I was feeling in no mood to undertake this long trip. But suddenly, in a split moment, all that changed. When I had donned those pants, I was ready to go, all charged up to head out on a long trek. I felt this surge of energy and a complete change in my frame of mind. Bewildered, I looked at myself in the mirror. I gazed at my pants and it hit me, they possessed magical powers.

These were the same cargo pants that I had worn on several arduous travels of mine, the 18 day trek across North East India, the 15 day mentally punishing trip to Mt. Kailash in Tibet, the month long grilling political campaign in the badlands of rural India. Since my body had overcome a lot of external stress while dressed in these cargoes, an unexplainable bonding has come into existence between the two. A touch of the pants on my skin, and my body gets triggered into action. Physiological changes kick in, hormonal flows get altered and travel instincts get activated. In short, a pretty cool conditional reflex has developed.

I now call these cargoes my Super Pants! Does your wardrobe have a Super Dress?

P.S: I’ve just been requested to change my berth again so that an old lady can occupy my lower berth and I climb on to the upper berth allotted to her. This happens every time I take a train 🙂

 

 

 

Posted in Travel | Tagged: , , , , | 13 Comments »

Joke of the Day :)

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on September 30, 2012

I absolutely love it when a post I read gives rise to a train of thought. Some posts trigger dormant memories that bring tremendous delight to the reader. When posts present your mind with a “connect the dots” exercise, you know its time to press the “Like” button. You may end up with something completely irrelevant to the post that seeded the thought process. But the fact that it put you on a journey is beautiful in itself. I experience this emotion everyday. And this is one of greatest blessings of being a blogger.

Today, I was viewing this wonderful post by Nikolay Kotev when I was reminded of this joke. Enjoy!

A World War II Royal Air Force pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force.

“In 1942,” he says, “the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, ” he continues, “one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.

(At this point, several of the children giggle.)

“I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me.”

At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, “I think I should point out that ‘Fokker’ was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company.”

“That’s true,” says the pilot, “but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts.”

😀 😆 😀

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

Saturday Night Exposure

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on September 29, 2012

First and foremost, I’d like to say a big “THANK YOU” to Kara, Lauren and Andrea for nominating me for “One Lovely Blog”, “One Lovely Blogger” and “Liebster” awards respectively. These honors feel extra special because they come from beautiful, aware and awakened souls. I am a big fan of their blogs. A visit to their pages, and you will know why.

To celebrate, I am going to put on a show for you all. I shall expose myself in ways that I must admit are more revealing than me stripping 🙂 Andrea made the effort to think up 11 questions for the nominees to answer. If it wasn’t for her effort, I may not have even attempted answering them. I am glad I did. The process turned out to be a great exercise in self reflection.

Here we go.

1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Ans. Kashmiri Rogan Josh. A delicious mutton delight cooked in Kashmiri Style.

Rogan Josh

2. Who do you find inspirational?

Ans. Martin Luther King, Jr., Osho, Socrates, Tupac Shakur

3. What is one thing you have accomplished on your bucket list?

Ans. I went to South Africa for the FIFA World Cup 2010. Check out some images here. Ayoba!

4. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?

Ans. Tupac’s “If I Die Tonite“. A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier dies but once!

5. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

Ans. I get the same peaceful sleep in a $15 dorm that I do in a $200 hotel room. My super boss once said about me, “Pack this guy off to the remotest and cruelest island, and he will party there”.

6. If you could live anywhere for a year, where would it be?

Ans. Colorado

7. If you had a million dollars, what would be the first thing you would do?

Ans. Maserati Quattroporte

8. What is your life motto?

Ans. Middle Path!

9. What is the number one trait you value in a friend?

Ans. Positive and Encouraging Thoughts.

10. When was the last time you did something fearless?

Ans. Early this year. Managed a closely fought Political Campaign and Canvassed for a Candidate in the dangerous “Wild West” of Rural India. Got into heated debates, blasted the opposition in speeches. I was “marked” by opponents. Yet, continued doing my job, when I was the only person not carrying a gun 🙂 There is indeed a thin line between courage and stupidity!

 11. Why do you blog?

Ans. I belong to a group of Aliens that have been sent to Earth to maintain a log of people’s thoughts and report it back to our world. This is a breach of my code of conduct. I might get terminated for this exposure.

Nanoo, Nanoo!

As always, your thoughts welcomed 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments »

fast.faster.fastest….to nowhere.

Posted by Raunak Mahajan on September 20, 2012

The thoughts in this post were inspired when I read “Context and Content”.

Objective: To study the apparent “need for speed” observable in human behavior of recent times.

Data:

Vimshottari Dasa system of Vedic Astrology considers a normal human life to be 120 years long. For benefit of this post, and considering the huge change that lifestyles have witnessed over the last 3 millenniums, we shall reduce that figure to a more modest 75 years. So in numbers,

Average Human Life = 75 years = 900 months = 27000 days = 432,000 awake hours

Observations:

1) I have been using Lean Tools to optimize my movements in my house. And I don’t like it! Its become an obsession. Every movement of mine is coordinated to do the maximum amount of work in least time. Its become so bad that when I place a cup of water in the microwave, I can’t just stand there for a minute while it gets heated. I have to occupy myself with some other task, like filling the water bottle, to make the most of that 1 minute. I can’t even sit on my desk waiting for my laptop to boot!

2) A lot of my friends have been asking me the processor speed of my mobile phone. I don’t get it! I remember when the most important parameter in judging a mobile phone used to be its strength and not its speed. If my phone survived a 20 feet drop, it was a good phone!

3) I am getting increasingly impatient at traffic lights. I honk at the car in front of me even when the light is red!

4) At my wedding, I asked my priest to conclude the rituals within 45 minutes. Under normal circumstances, it would have taken close to 3 hours.

5) I am embarrassed when my mobile phone does not stream an online video within 10 secs of clicking “play”.

Explanation:

We have become wholly entrapped in a web of illusion, a world where our minds have been tuned to think that “Time is Money”. We have been manipulated into choosing the fastest journey, without knowing what our destination is. We are made to believe that the speed is important, not where we are headed or what stops on the way we have missed out. It is like sitting in train going at the speed of light. You cannot see anything outside the window of the train, the train has no stops and your destination is the point you started from. You pay for the thought of traveling at the speed of light and nothing else. Read the rest of this entry »

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